superponies

 Oh My Gosh.
Today, I figured out that I am suffering depression.
*gasp*

...no,
I'm actually serious. I came home crying, and my mom had a loooooong talk with me.
I asked her what was the point of living?
And why is life so important..
And that I am practically a failure. 
[shit like that..]
Then she summed up that I was more mature for my age and depressed.

yeah.
I dont know what to say.
It's like, for example.
All my friends and classmates, basically kids my age are only worrying about 'boys, cliques, and the latest fashion trend'...
I, on the other hand, think about my future, my career, what was I meant to do in this world, things like that.
Really. I usually pretend to have fun and stuff with my friends.... but secretly, I've always wondered what was the point of all of this. 
Does it really matter about the clothes you own? Like, is it going to affect your life, in possibly, the next ten years?
No.
Does it really fuckin matter about the people you've gossiped about behind their backs, is that going to make your whole life a lot better?
No.
Friends come and go.

I just sometimes fuckin feel so lonely.
That is why I pretend.

-
I really wish I didnt,
I just don't know how... not to pretend.

All I know is to be a failure. 

.....And tomorrow is the first day of school. How lovely.